Self Inflicted Violence
Self Injury Myths
Self-injury is a failed suicide attempt
Self-injury is a way of carrying on with life, not of dying. Injuries are seldom life threatening. It is important to distinguish self-injury from a suicide attempt, so that its true meanings can be understood.
Self-injury is "just attention seeking"
Self-injury is primarily about helping oneself cope with great pain. For some, it is a desperate attempt to show that something is really wrong, and attention should be paid to their distress.
Self-injury is a sign of madness
Self-injury is a sign of distress, not madness; a sign of someone trying to cope with her life as best she can.
A person who self-injures is a danger to others
Someone who self-injures is directing her hurt and anger at herself, not at others. Most would be appalled at the idea of hurting someone else.
What can help?
Self-injury causes great distress, and can seem a difficult problem to overcome. But it is possible for a woman to stop hurting herself, if she can understand and resolves the problems behind what she does.
If you are someone who self-injures
Think about what your self-injury is "saying" about your feeling and your life. This will give you clues about problems that you need to work on. You might find it helpful to talk about your self-injury and what lies behind it with friends or a counselor. To find out about counseling contact the Baldwin-Wallace Counseling Center at 440/826-2180.
If you want to help someone who self-injures
Naturally you may feel upset, shocked or angry when someone you care about hurts herself. Try to keep seeing the person in pain behind the injuries. The most precious things you can offer are acceptance and support. Let your friend know you understand that self-injury is helping her to cope at the moment. She is not "bad" or "mad" for doing it. You could invite her to talk about her feelings, or to call you if she is having a difficult time. But only offer as much as you can cope with, and don't try to take responsibility for stopping her from hurting herself.
What is self-injury?
"Self-injury" is any sort of self-harm which involves inflicting injuries or pain on one's own body. It can take many forms.
The most common form of self-injury is probably cutting, usually superficially, but sometimes deeply. Women may also burn themselves, punch themselves or hit their bodies against something. Some people pick their skin or pull out hair.
How common is self-injury?
Self-injury is far more widespread than is generally realized. All sorts of people self-injure. Often they carry on successful careers or look after families and there is little outward sign that there is anything wrong. Self-injury seems to be more common among woman, partly because men are more likely to express strong feelings such as anger outwardly.
Many women who self-injure believe they are the only person that hurts themselves in this way. Fear and shame may force women to keep self-injury secret for many years. This means that the true extent of the problem is unkown. Our experience shows that where it is acceptable to talk about it, many women reveal that they have self-injured for some time.
Why do women self-injure?
There are always powerful reasons why a woman hurts herself. For most women it is a way of surviving great emotional pain.
Many people cope with difficulties in their lives in ways that are risky and harmful to them. Some drink or eat too much, smoke, drive too fast, gable, or make themselves ill through overwork or worry. They might do this to numb or distract themselves from problems or feelings they cannot bear to face.
Self-injury, though shocking, bears many similarities to these "ordinary" forms of self-harm. Like alcohol or drugs, hurting herself may help a woman block out painful feelings. Like taking risks or gambling, it may provide danger and distraction.
Often women say that self-injury helps them to release unbearable tension, which may arise from anxiety, grief, or anger. It puts their pain outside, where it feels easier to cope with. For others, it relieves feelings of guilt or shame. Sometimes a woman's self-injury is a "cry for help," a way of showing (even to herself) that she has suffered and is in pain. Perhaps hurting herself is a way of feeling "real" and alive, or having control over "something" in her life. What lies behind women's distress may be painful experiences in childhood or adulthood. a woman may have suffered neglect or abuse, or may have always been criticized or silenced, rather than supported and allowed to express her needs and feelings. some women who self-injure lost their parents early, or came from chaotic or violent families. For others, adult experiences of emotional or physical cruelty have led to their desperation.
